Are sexuality and identity a matter of categories?

"You can paint me any colour

I can be a Russian doll

But you ain't got my number

No, you can't make me small."

"Can't Pin Me Down" - Marina And The Diamonds

I don't really like the word "transgender." It's me myself who says I'm one, but every time I say it, hear it or think about it, whether it's about me or about any other trans person, it pounds a strange alarm inside my head. What are we? we're boys or girls, depending on our """""choice,""""" but, why does it seem as if we were the only ones who had to """""choose?""""" Do cisgender people go through gender identity crisis or do they just assume what they want to do and who they want to be through stereotypes related to their genitalia?

At some point, thinking and talking openly about these things becomes spiky, because it comes up obvious that everyone feels radically different things, want radically different things and have radically different life aspirations... Bearing that in mind, do all those tags really make us have something in common? Do I feel the same way other trans women do? Might I just have any idea of
how a trans man could feel? What makes us a common community? Just a tag?

Don't get me wrong: I know being united is important. The sense of the existence of these community is rather a matter of visibilization, I'd say. It's about people asking each other "what's the T in LGBT?" and getting to know we exist. That's why it's worth it to make it LGBTIQDA and whatever gets discovered outside what is strictly cisgender-hetero rather than making it shorter. But that's not the topic I want to deal about now. The thing is, what makes us L, T, B, Ψ or whatever we are?

In order to classify human beings, society appears to take into consideration three factors:

• Biological sex. Basically, our genitalia, and nothing further than that. Inside the binary system, we use male and female as classificatory words.

• Gender. What we are, what we "identify as." This should be thousands of times more important than biological sex when it comes to treating a person in a certain way, but, sadly, it appears as it isn't. Inside the binary system, the words for gender are boy and girl, or man and woman.

• Sexual orientation. What we want to... "sleep" with, whether it's men, women, children, dogs, cars, food, whatever. As of 2015, it's far more visible as a possibility of difference than gender, which is normally assumed to coincide with biological sex. The problem with classifying sexual orientation is that, as humans, it's very unlikely that our sexual likes are fully related to the sex and gender of our viable sexual mates, meaning that while it's normal that we have some preferences, it's most likely that we'd like a little percentage of the "other thing."

And even if we ignore the last sentence, it's easy to realise there's a huge black hole within this as a rigid classification: actually, we cannot say all humans are "men" or "women" without especifying we're limitating to the binary system; if we look at intersexuals, "male" and "female" suffer from the same lack of ability as classificating words. This comes to mean that while biological sex is unavoidable, the connotations we give it aren't, meaning that there isn't really a necessity for a male person to behave in a certain way, and the same would apply to females and intersexuals.

Does this mean that every cisgender straight person in the world is in a mistake? Well, the thing is, no but yes. People should live any way they want to, even if that means being a macho or a femme fatale or whatever, but that shouldn't mean they stick their heads into stereotypes and stop living other kinds of life that could help them grow as human beings and make them know a little bit more about themselves. This would also imply the existence of female machos and male femme fatales, among other things.

Don't get me wrong, though: I'd love to make my nails, dye my hair, shave and wear nice clothes, and, actually, transition. Yeah, I feel it's something I need because I'd feel much prettier for sure. The thing is that society would probably never considerate me a "true woman," since I wouldn't be able to, for example, have children, and I wouldn't even have periods. Bearing that in mind, why would I ever need the word "woman" in my life? What does it really mean? Is it any better than "man?" Of course it isn't, it's just different. Then, what makes it needed in my case? I mean, it's a matter of identity, of course, and I'd probably be offended if I was taken as a man by everyone systematically, but, what makes me want the word so bad?

... Society?